He Took Me To A Jewelry Store With His Grandmother's Diamonds

Then didn't leave them to be made into an engagement ring. I told him that I couldn't go on this way; I needed a break from our relationship. J.

I know that you're in pain, but I feel that I have to say this. If he wanted to marry you, he would--and there is nothing else.

No amount of saying it 'correctly' is going to change that he isn't willing to take you to the alter any more today than he was 2 years ago.

I've written about this before regarding my older brother--he told me that although he's been with his girlfriend for 6 years, and her driving him crazy to get married--doesn't change his mind; he's never going to marry her. But let me be clear about what he said to me. 'she sleeps with me, she cleans for me, she cooks for me and I didn't have to marry her to have that arrangement---who's living better than I am? 'Big deal, so I spent 5 thousand dollars on an engagement ring, If I had to hire someone to do all of that for me, it would have cost me more'. In other words, he has no compelling reason to marry her--she has already given all of herself to him--all of her bargaining chips are gone.

I tried to tell you that when he was going to undergo surgery. You said that you wanted to take care of him because he had no one else to do it, if he has any money at all, he could have hired home health care.

Pat is very clear about the delineation of acting like a wife and  being one--there is a difference. In fact she told me that even with her own boyfriend of over 2 years now 'I'm not doing hospital visits.' Since she has chosen not to marry him, she doesn't have intercourse with him either. Acting like a wife doesn't make you one. Watch daytime television and you will see women crying their eyes out over some guy who left them pregnant or with children for another woman. When a woman gives a man her body she gives herself to him heart and soul. A man isn't commited to a woman until he signs a contract. Your guy has give you a thousand excuses to push off making a commitment to you because he doesn't want to.

Find the places of your boundaries.

Oh Fran!! You're amazing!! Here (once again) I'm going on and on and on ... and you synthesize it in a couple short paragraphs! Love you!!