Ay ya yie. The good, the bad and the ugly. OK the bad and the ugly are the same thing...but I'll get there.
Everyone knows that I'm a sucker for reality T.V.--not all of it, but a lot. Last night bravo had me hooked in just enough to watch.,...my people...sort of. Ashkenazi and Sephardic Jews are so far removed from each other that we practically are a different religion. Or let me rephrase that to say that culturally, we practice the faith differently. We have different ceremonies, different foods as 'holiday' foods, name our children differently and other thing distinct differences. But the commonalities of the men and women that I knew in my twenties and thirties strikes a chord. Life was all about perfection. Who had the most money and toys that the money bought. If you weren't wearing the designer everything from head to toe, you were just pitifully, children of a lesser God. And I so much related because I was one of them. There was nothing that I wanted that money wasn't an object. It was a matter of course to go shopping, walk up to the register without ever looking at a price tag and buying whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Shopping was my sport of choice--right after taking care of myself; in fact that was my job requirement. Yes, I said that. *IF* I didn't take care of my self obsessively, I wouldn't find a man that would do the same for me. So yes, that meant that I took a food scale with me into restaurants, yes, I weighed and measured everything I ate. Yes, when I went on vacation I was getting up every single day to exercise, yes, nothing interfered with my diet and exercise schedule, yes, as my girlfriend Linda used to call it "I was busy doing nothing"...except being beautiful. That meant standing appointments for massages, manicures, pedicures, facials, waxing and hair.
And yes, that meant that my constant purchasing of jewelry, purses and shoes each would cost more than a month's rent--and so did my beauty regiment--I love(d) being pampered; I didn't care. Today, I would still love to go back in time and be that woman--again...but my priorities have changed. Being knocked about in life changes your perspective of importance...but it was a beautiful time and I'm privileged to have those memories. Fine wine, fine dining, and very fine men. My best friend at that time was an Italian girl named Karyn who wanted nothing more than to marry a Jewish guy...she would have converted in a heartbeat. But there is something about conversion that doesn't translate in what it means to be a Jew. I've always said that marrying a Jewish man is easier. There is a basic level of understanding that I don't have to explain...and see above for all of that. I wouldn't have to explain all of the beauty maintenance; I wouldn't have to explain the domestic help...they understand because their mothers had help as well as their cousins, grandmothers, aunts and every woman that they 'watched' growing up as 'that's what's done' in a woman's life.
It always surprises me that a mere hundred years ago one out of every five women in America had full time domestic help. Men did what they had to do to provide that for the women that they loved. A woman didn't have to have a break down over what she could and couldn't do all in a day's work. And that means that no, she can't go to work, come home take care of the house, the kids, cook, clean and otherwise be a slave to her life while all the time her husband is wondering where his sex kitten is...add that to the list. Having her burden lifted removes the strain of not giving enough attention to any one thing on 'the list'. We've been lied to; we can't have it all.
MJ has problems with her mother...she's far too enmeshed in her mother's life and it hurts her--she's going to need some therapy to straighten her head and her mother out...but it's GG that I want to talk about.
It's obvious to everyone including Mike that she's in love with him but she's doing everything wrong that possibly could--and most of all, she doesn't LISTEN to him. I'm a big believer that if you listen to a man, he'll tell you far more about him that you would ever learn by asking him questions.
So here's what we know about Mike:
1. He said that if he found a nice girl, he'd settle down tomorrow. I believe part of that. Right now he's having lots of fun--and read that as lots of free sex with lots of woman. GG gets her claws out by being a bitch about the woman that he's with...She has a great body; GG complains that she's not dressed appropriately for a house party--Mike hears about it and calls her out on it. Would she have kept her ladylike behavior and NOT been affected; Mike would have taken notice of her lack of attention and began to step toward her; not away.
2. He's willing to laugh about GG and her pseudo hotness. She shows up at the firing range. Perfectly willing to compete with him (sorry, he's no man wants a woman to compete with him). When she dresses inappropriately for shooting practice she complains that she's being burned by spent shells. He says that he dated her sister but doesn't even really remember her. That should send up '"ewww; that's creepy" red flags...but GG is a competitor--it's just misguided.
3. See number 1 again. He says he's a mama's boy...mama calls him at work to remind him that they are having dinner together as a family on Friday night. He tells her that he loves her. If she wanted to win his heart, making dinner for him at home might be a start. Sharing her family get together's with him is the second place to go--being with his family means alot to him. A man has to both see how you fit into his life and how he will or won't fit into yours. Family is obviously an important part of his life, or he wouldn't have showed up on all so important --singles night out--Friday.
4. Her mouth...what man wants a street swearing piece of trash to take home to his family? Yes, there is a double standard. OK for men; not OK for women. For all of her money and daddy bankrolling her life (read that as an entitled, childish pain in the neck to live with) what she didn't learn was the most important thing and that is how to be a lady. Nope, money can't buy you class...step up to that.
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