Proper Seating Etiquette

Hi Fran, Just got back from a great date with Miguel. We had a lot in common and had a fun time. My question is this.

How in the heck do you avoid sitting catty cornered to a man at a restaurant? Why? Every time I do that, it doesn't end well. :-( . I tried today to avoid sitting where THE STUPID WAITER tried to get me to sit, which was catty cornered to Miguel, and the waiter MOVED MIGUEL's MENU from across from me, to catty cornered! Dammit! I know I can't controll other people, but I have better results when I sit across from my date. My opinion is that it has to do with where your eyes naturally track when eating, which is directly across from you. I want to have the default position, he looks and there I am smiling away. I want my vision and his vision to be full of each other.

Second question. I think Miguel wanted to kiss me, but I am terrible with that on a first date. He ended up hugging me. He didn't say I'll call or see you later or anything. How do you position yourself or what do you do when you think a guy wants to kiss you? I get nervous and really need a guy who will take charge!

Hi Sandi;  I would position yourself where you wanted to be and let the waiter move the place setting for you--if there's room. This is part of your femme training. You do what's comfortable for you and let men--even if he's not your date work toward your comfort. It's interesting because I have a few ideas about seating at a restaurant myself...I'm not sure if we've ever talked about this before; but I think so.

The feminine position to be seated in is so that YOUR back is toward the door. A masculine man's natural inclination is to protect you--that means that HE has to be the one watching for oncoming predators. I've actually overheard men telling women in restaurants 'I should be sitting there' without any further explanation to the women...and I always giggle when I hear it. (Ditto for the sleeping side of the bed) Men typically--(without understanding it) will want to sleep nearest the door...protecting their women from man or beast as they might enter a cave. Sometimes a man will have a preference as to his 'side'; if he doesn't I look to see if he is right handed or left and I take the less dominant position in bed--meaning that he can touch me with his more dominate hand; so in my bed, if I'm lying in it facing the ceiling, I sleep on the left side leaving space to my right. I also wouldn't be opposed to saying to my date that you would feel more comfortable if you could talk naturally across the table from him instead of having to turn your neck--and then let HIM move.

*I* think that sitting next to a man is more intimate than across a table...but on a first date, you might want that space between you and time for 'full face' visual contact. *I* think that a man sitting nearer to your body, close enough for intimate conversation and touching is romantic...but if you're not there, I'm O.K with that.

We all know when a guy wants to kiss you...I used to call it a guy 'getting that stupid look on his face'...before I grew up...but it's your reaction to THAT look that will signal him to either move in for more or not. There are lots of women in which even a kiss is far too risky to instill oxytocin bonding with a man who hasn't proved himself to be anything more than a one-of date. I bond easily and that may be your case as well (high-five for the high estrogen levels!) But to me it's always worth the risk and I would rather know what a man kisses like than not. So you do what feminine women all over the world do, you smile, you're receptive and you stand there and wait. He'll know what you're waiting for. If your signal to him is to look away from him and move; he'll get the message that you're ready to move on without any affection.