Phone Sex

I had someone ask me about having phone sex with a man, and I want to share with you an experience I had who tried as he might for me to have phone sex with him. I wouldn’t do it. Not because I’m morally against it, but because he didn’t show me ‘enough’ to deserve that level of intimacy from me. The online dating world is chock full of men looking for a cheap thrill. I’ve had men, without even knowing my name say to me ‘do you want to come and spend the weekend with me in Long Island? I have a tongue that doesn’t quit.’ Ummm, thank you, but no. They turn up the pleasure, and when that doesn’t work, they turn up the pain…the take away…the manipulation…

This one tried the romance approach; I liked it, and I told him so, but it wasn’t enough for me to spend an evening—or 10 minutes doing that for him. This is PART of what he wrote:

"You took my breath away. I believe in powerful instant magnetic chemistry and I feel that now. I know you do as well. I'm the man that you will love and who will love you...deeply...in every way.

You are a woman who deeply understands what I want. I am a strong, powerful, successful man who needs to take care of my love in EVERY way. My name is Jason and we were IMing less than an hour ago. I closed my eyes after my meeting and I saw you sitting beside me...lit by candles...smelling of vanilla...your soft curves covered in white lace...looking at me adoringly... falling into my arms...I opened my eyes to write you and to bring you closer to me. I need to utter your name with the deepest pleasure! I did not think about the possibility of you being in my strong arms. I state it as a fact. You will be in my arms and I will love you like no other man has loved you. I feel that in every part of me and soon you will understand.

And sweetness...tell me more about you...I imagine that you might be a teacher or an educator...that you love romance and a man to sweep you off your beautiful feet. I moved from NY a year ago and have been living in LA but I yearn to move back. I have bought and rebuilt many companies and made my fortune. Thank G-d it was left almost unscathed by the disastrous economy. For me, it’s time to truly enjoy my life and the great love of my life.

I've never been more ready for you. I'm planning to come back to NY in 2 weeks to buy an apartment and capture every part of you.

Fran I want you to be my everything but you need to trust your feelings...embrace them and surrender to them and to me. Are you ready heart, body and soul? I think you know YOU are what I desire. I am already captivated. It felt powerful, immediate. I am MORE of a man than you can imagine and my desire is to fulfill you in every way and teach you how to be my woman...completely. Can you feel my strength?

I wish for every part of you...to possess you.., to have you worship me...to consume you in every way. And are you truly ready to love me in the deepest possible way...to give and receive love...passion...and total pleasure? I love the way you already make me feel. Darling Fran that call was beyond my expectations. I've found my lover and my soul mate. To be truly honest, I'm not used to feeling this strong a connection; but it happened for me once-with my wife. I knew the night that I met her that she was the one. I waited for three weeks to become engaged and we were married within three months. We were married for five years before she passed away. I'm very open to loving and want to be sure you are as well.

I’ve been called away to France on business, but darling we are lovers in every way and in less than two weeks you will be completely mine. I have been to France before but my world and my travels will be richer with you beside me and us both being intertwined in every way. I promise to love you and care for you beyond your wildest dreams. I will...the whole world will be our playground...if you let it...

Do you think it’s possible to already be falling? I love wine; I prefer red but I think we'll be drinking a great deal of champagne. We will drink champagne in France! Tell me what you feel...everything...Has this ever happened to you before? You already arouse every part of me.

I will not want to wait more than moments for you...once we do look at each other I expect you to be completely mine. Are you ready heart, body and soul? Fran I want you to be my everything but you need to trust your feelings...embrace them and surrender to them and to me. YOU are everything that I desire. I am MORE of a man than you can imagine and my desire is to fulfill you in every way and teach you how to be my woman...completely. And are you truly ready to love me in the deepest possible way...to give and receive love...passion...and total pleasure?

I’ll be home Sunday night. Will you give yourself to me without boundaries? But for tonight we are lovers and our love will only deepen. Darling, I feel like I already know you and that our love has begun. I do need to smell your neck and kiss it deeply as I will kiss all of you. Darling, I already long to look deeply into your eyes... take you into my strong arms and kiss you deeply... long... lingering... I went to La Perla today to inhale you for the first time. I'm a purest; I love red roses but today my desire was to fill your bed with white ones. Sunday night give yourself to me without boundaries...

I need to cuddle you...stroke you...caress you...spoil you...devour you...penetrate you...bathe you...make you my wife...my friend...my partner...my lover...my playmate...my sweet baby girl...

I need you baby more than you could imagine I have never stopped thinking about you...even for a moment...I have been ill in London with pneumonia for over a month.

Baby...I have a nurse...friends...but you are....beyond words...I wish you would let us love each other in these moments as we get closer to loving in NJ...and let us each surrender and release... I will but I need your soothing now...................

My sweet love, I am in London. I just fell in love all over again...you continue to touch me like no one else has...I have from the very first moment had every imaginable...powerful feeling for you...they are entwined and because our bodies hold our hearts and our souls have become the most arousing feelings of my life...unlike anything...I have made love to you every day...and the feelings have no words and the release has been more intense than any I've felt in years...

What I craved was to share all this with you in the moment...knowing that we will never have these back and knowing that our intimacy will evolve as you give yourself to me completely...

This is so much more than anything I've ever experienced...as I type...as I read your e-mails...my heart pounds...I feel light headed ...my heart...my soul and my body come together with a desire so extraordinary...and yet I'm alone...

My love, I dream of looking at you... undressing you slowly... leading you to your bubble bath... bathing you... washing your hair... drying you... with a soft towel... laying you down... massaging you with warm almond oil... my strong hands kneading away your life stresses... showering you... taking you to our bed... kissing you softly at first and then exploring your soft curves... with my hands... my lips... my tongue...

Are you ready to love me now... fully... physically... emotionally... at this moment? Tell me that you are waiting...open in every way... tell me that you're waiting for my call...ready to satisfy both of our hungers...my feminine baby I MUST HAVE YOU NOW!

I wish you knew how much I needed to be your lover and protector...now and forever

I will never leave you.

Tell me that you will answer my call...and make love to me now at this moment...with our hearts...and our bodies fully available to each other...

Baby, I’m begging; AND I NEVER BEG!

I desperately want to take you as my lover now at this moment...with our words...as we touch each other and we touch ourselves...I want to hear your voice quiver...the sounds of your pleasure...

I wish that you would allow yourself to understand me and my desire for you on a deeper level and help us both explore it...

As a post script to my last e-mail...after you have loved deeply and lost deeply you need to embrace every moment and every feeling...since my desire for you continues to build and deepen...I have the overpowering need to share every aspect with you." My beautiful love,

I need you in every way...my parents are both deceased...my dad when I was 5...I have no siblings...my friends are my family...I went to Columbia and London University Medical School...I am involved anonymously in many charities...I built a special needs school in Israel...3 things about me...hmmm...that my passion drives me...my strength empowers me and my capacity to love in overflowing with generosity and profound sensuality.

Maybe you’ve heard this before; I am sorry, but I am not those men looking for cyber or phone sex but I am a man that is flooded with overwhelming feelings for you on every level and it is powerful and life affirming. I am a very sensual, passionate and physical man and so I am feeling extremely aroused. It may be easier if I call you when I get to NY early next week?

I want to welcome you home at the end of the day...bathe you...wash that beautiful hair...make you a sumptuous dinner...pour you fine wine from my cellar...massage away the stresses of your day before making passionate love to you late until the night...

I want to take you around the world spoiling you with my love and my wealth...

It comes directly from my heart...penetrating my soul and swelling my cock. I am a man that must give my entirety to my baby girl...you already made me whole...and now I must possess you in every way. Surrender to me; fully...completely..."

The bottom line is whether or not to have phone sex depends on how you FEEL. My master manipulator knew that I was kinesthetically oriented. I knew that the way I experience the world was through feelings. There isn’t anything wrong with phone sex in theory…Pat would say it’s not him getting ‘in’ so you can be as playful as you’d like. However, feeling his words verses feeling his body is very different; and my desire was for the latter.

As a general rule, I’d change the subject from anything sexual until you’ve gotten to know someone better. It is very easy to say ‘you’re turning me on, however it makes me realize how much I miss you’ or that you’re flattered and enjoy the sex, but phone sex isn’t satisfying to you; it reminds you that you aren’t in the same city’.

I believe that until you’re in a committed relationship, it changes the dynamics of the growth of your relationship. I don't suggest you have phone sex. This is the NEW beginning of a relationship; not your husband away on business reminding him of what you’re both missing. It sends mixed messages; either you’re willing to be sexual early or you’re not. Not only did my fantasy lover’s words and actions not match, my willing to draw a line somewhere after we had had phone sex would have been a mismatch on MY words to actions. You can always say that you’re not interested in sex outside of a commitment—and a man offering one—as in my pen pal and giving me one are two very different things.

Granted, men fall in love with their eyes, women fall in love with their ears; but telling me and showing me are two very different things. IF you’re looking for the potential of something more significant than what you’ve had in the past, I’d suggest dialing back this behavior. Actions from a man always speak louder than words. All of the relationship talk my guy sent to me gave me hope that there was a future with him but he did nothing to make me feel safe enough of actually being in a committed relationship to have me want to surrender all that I am to him. Do you see that difference? This guy told me he was in Europe; but for all that I know he was sitting in his basement in Brooklyn in plaid pajamas.

Men fantasize about having sex all of the time. You can indulge him or as an alternative there are far more skilled practitioners in the back of the Village Voice for a $1.99 per minute. If you act like a lady and men treat you that way.