I was on a date at a party when another woman—a married acquaintance began monopolizing my dates conversation. How do I behave toward a guy when I’m being ignored?
I’ve had this very thing happen to me—when I was invited by my date to attend a wedding with him. He was a stock broker and after being asked one question by the gentleman sitting to his left (while I was seated to his right) began going into ‘work’ mode…you know the type; when every conversation and every contact is a potential client? At first I felt miffed, but then I realized that every masculine man DOES think that work comes first. It’s a part of his identity; of protecting and providing for those that he loves and a lost opportunity for the potential of that provision is not something that he’s easily going to fore go.
As a woman choosing to live in her feminine energy it behooves you to just sit or stand with a smile on your face, get over the feeling of being conversationally isolated by your date. He’s doing what he needs to—not wants to, but needs to. When you question what to wear, your answer should be a smile. Whether you’re standing in the middle of a dance floor, seated at a dinner party, or standing with a cocktail in your hand, as always, masculine energy engages and begins a conversation with you. All that you have to do is both to look like you are and remain approachable.
Men, having yin or feminine souls are more intuitive that women are. Women are more spiritual; men are more intuitive, when for example they sense danger or anger. Women cannot be angry around men—it frightens them and men know and stay away. If a man out in the wild didn’t have a keen sense rage, he would be easily killed by wild beasts. Instead, he senses danger, peacefulness or calm when confronting anything—including a woman.
Remember that verbal is only a fraction of how people perceive our willingness to communicate. Smiling and listening is far more magnetizing than you realize. Pat calls this ‘how retarded girls get guys’. It is probably going to come as a surprise to you, but men don’t find a woman’s lack intelligence a deal breaker. I have heard men say that it didn’t matter that she was nowhere as close in intelligence as he is but he’s never been happier with a woman or write full ongoing threads on the topic of ‘stupid things my girlfriend has said’ and yet, she remains a girlfriend. As the saying goes, if mama’s happy, everyone’s happy—and a man will work to make a woman that he loves as happy as he can. If he finds in time that he cannot make a woman happy, he will move on and find a woman that he can. Pick your battles, and make sure that if you do, you’re not asking a man for more, better or different amounts of his time, affection or sexual behavior; he will become resentful of you for asking. Instead discuss how his behavior made you feel.
Whether the conversation is started by a man or a woman, if someone asks you something, you can answer in sentences or an in depth discussion if you wish, but don’t feel compelled—at all—to begin or carry a conversation.
There is also no need to feel any sort of competitiveness to engage your date in conversation whether the object of his attention is an acquaintance or work colleague. If someone comments on you’re being particularly quiet, you can say that you’ve rarely been anywhere when listening to the conversation was so engaging; or that some of the other guest’s enthusiasm on a subject is so impressive that it is actually left you feeling that you wanted a deeper understanding of their views. Or, you can add your own bits of PERSONAL (not professional) loves, hopes, and dreams to change the direction of the conversation.
Staying in your femme outside of work is easy when you begin to change your behavior of leaving your work persona at the office. If someone asks ‘what do you do?’ Of course, you know that they are asking about your career, but change the subject to things that you love—like gardening, travel, art history, wine tasting, Pilates, etc. You can change the energy of any conversation from business to pleasure by ‘sitting still’ in feminine energy. Remember that work doesn’t define who we are as women. It’s the color of our lives-- not the black and white that makes us interesting. Telling war stories or gossiping about work or pulling your date back to placing his attention on to you puts you in a position of ‘performing’ which is masculine energy.
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